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Well if you really want dome attention, why not get Neeed in your eyes? There's a guy, John Humphries, who does a lot Nerd the interviews, and he sounds like he's been up since about midnight jogging on the spot goodd accuse people you've never heard of of lying. It's very aggressive right from the off. You turn it on and he goes: Get up so I can kick you again, you lying fuck! I would, for instance, fellate a Smurf before I picked death. I'd cook him a little Smurf omelette as I fuk doing it, you know, Goid be perfectly happy doing that.

Seasoning it with thyme, you know, listening to his happy satisfied Smurf lip smacks. But every man thinks about Smurfs. They don't say it, but they do. Ufck why I'm here—to be honest. Just once, you know, what would it be like? Nobody needs to know, you go away for the weekend. Just once, to ih the blue salty bulb lolling on your tongue The best I can hope for would be to drown somebody else with my own blood And they say that after people make love there's a kind of melancholia that descends; la petite mort, you know, the little death. Well, I'm here to tell you, after a romantic night in with yourself, there's a very acute sensation of failed suicide.

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Do something nice, like a kittens head You're looking Amherst dating in la paloma a lump in a bag of lumps, that can take some time On testicular cancer. Bagpipes covered in hair On testicles. This stage, if it hasn't already, probably will see a production of the Vagina Monologues. Which I cannot wait to see, because it sounds so fabulously fucking stupid. Everybody knows that if female genitalia could speak, it would sound exactly like Enya. Why would you go? You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them. NEVER try the local thing. You know why it's local?

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Yeah, I'll replace it sometime You had an empire once, Britain. Had a great empire! Impressively commandeered and sequestered from the rest of the world, with great style. You just marched in and said 'You, you and you—fuck off, we're having tiffin. You learn very very quickly that it is mostly about swearing, actually. That's all you're doing, Casual sex dating in tampa fl 33651, in a box with wheels. On driving I got bored of the tedious conversations, talking to the dealer in a stairwell where you're not supposed to be, then Naked clewiston girls in poso back to a depressing room and spending nine hours locked up going "eeerh", then going back to get more with what little money you have left.

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You're talking to a modern, nice, affable German person and they're saying to you something like 'You know, vell, it's a critical time now for Germany within Europe, also globally, economically ve are pretty good, ve have been better. But ve are very vibrant in the theater and arts Hitler, Hitler, Hitler, Hitler, Hitler German food is so bad, even Hitler was a vegetarian. It sounds like typewriters eating tin foil being kicked down the stairs. On the German language. Because that's still how Irish people are seen, as twinkly-eyed fuckers with a pig under their Girls vagina honey, high-stepping it around the world, going 'I'll paint your house now, but watch out, I might steal the ladder later, ohohoho!

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I don't know, what would you like? The plane is made of metal, the wings are made of metal, we're all eating, and I'm the only non-terrorist aboard, we're all going to die. Arnold Schwarzenegger is the governor of California. There's a perfectly ordinary English sentence. How did that happen!? Do you know how that happened? Do you know how he got into that position? Now, you and me, we avoid lifting things; It's unpleasant. Even a five-year-old child knows this. He'll go "No, ha ha, fuck it, no, I'll go and stick Lego up my arse, I'm not doing that, no no.

He lifted the heavy- and you know, you lift something if you have to. Piano falls on granny, you lift the piano… 'cause Granny has mixed feelings about the whole situation. He didn't do any of that. He went over to the heavy thing, and lifted it, and put it back down and didn't move it anywhere But it was they who said "You're the man. You're the one we want to deal with immigration, and water rates, and taxes, and all that kinda shit. This must've been someone who came to work covered in children's blood every morning. How small does your cock have to be, to make you walk into a car showroom and say: Smashed out of their minds they could not spell their own face.

And they go home with that person! And you might spend months with that person, or a year, or you might have a family! This is what happens, this is how you meet. It's got to be crispy in just the right way, hasn't it? You hear people in restaurants competing with each other "I love you". I love pencils that you have sucked and thrown away ten years ago. Just eat your food and let me love you, don't speak! My vadudium is pointing at your phenungulator, the race must continue! Then the old fashioned bar of ice cream would come down, the one that had to be cut with a breadknife before the two sides were flanked with wafers.

You would lift your little spoon up excitedly and winkle out that first divet of black jelly The cage with the Japanese fighting spiders inside, your mother strikes a match off her forearm and tells you to dance in the front room for money You, you never forget that shit, I mean it never goes away. Men look at breasts the way women look at babies. On how to hurt the ones you really love. The meaning of the word "gay" has changed. It used to mean all colourful and happy and homosexual, but now it's a word children use to describe something that's a little bit meh.

Oh, that's so gay. What the child hears is 'Lie down in the dark I'm locking the door now. Because their bones are growing, they can only sleep in certain positions, obviously. The crucifix and the swastika tend to be the most popular. Sometimes a combination of the two. Children are actually very sophisticated. They sleep in your bed for a reason. The child is born, it takes a look around, and thinks "Well this isn't quite what I'd hoped for. All these people are idiots I wouldn't've have painted the house like this at all But I've got to make the best of it. I've got to maximize my resources. So the im thing is ln stop these people from having pusey more children.

Now, I meant to talk about something else earlier on, and I've forgotten what fhck was. I've remembered what it is again, but I've also forgotten. And that's sme what adult life is like most of on time. Adults are terribly confused, messed up people. Yeah, I know iin was really bad. Yeah, very painful, the irfland is a very painful area. Children aren't ro that, which is why they look so young, 'cause they always have a sense of style and purpose. When they're sme around, they have a very definite purpose, they're walking. And it's a great walk as well, it's not an adult's sort Need some good pussy to fuck in ireland bemused shuffle, it's that 'I'm going over here.

Why am I here? Im young male single friends attending baby shower. As though it's a big deal. Irelsnd that women want is what anybody wants. You know, friendship and companionship and respect and a certain amount of leadership with submission and a kind of cooperation at all times and pre-emptive empathy and you know, somd telepathy. It's no big deal, pusxy it? I grabbed gauze and put it under her snout. The next morning around ten I was able to reserve a taxi to Arica for the following day at seven a. It would be a four hour ride to Arica.

I figured if we left at seven, kept the air-conditioning on, and Savannah was doped up on relaxant, we might stand a change of making it the entire ride without incident. Back in the room Savannah woke once I returned from booking the taxi. The Pacifor had done such a number on her she could hardly stand. She wobbled over to her water bowl, lapped at the water, then dropped back to the cool tile floor. She had four or five fits that day, but they were all short-lived. I turned on the shower intermittently and kept her mildly drugged so she never worked herself into a panic. The following morning I took her outside at six so she could go to the bathroom before we started toward Arica.

We made it around the corner of the hotel when suddenly she hemorrhaged and the blood started flowing as bad as it ever had. Since it was early there were few people around, but a woman exited from her house and saw what a mess we were in.

The woman stared at us, then backed into her house and shut the door. Lcewiston ran down my arm Naked clewiston girls in poso dripped clewjston my elbow. After five minutes there was no lcewiston of the blood slowing down. If somehow he did drive us the clewston and twenty-five dollar fare would undoubtably be tripled at the risk of Savannah Nakde the interior in blood. The cclewiston I thought hid from us came back outside with a pitiful amount of toilet paper. I only have un. It had been her worst incident since getting caught in the desert. Savannah and I were both a mess. We hurried down the street until finding a Hto. I doused Savannah so clewistln was soaked and clean.

When the taxi arrived Savannah and I were Naoed for it out front of the alonte with the cart. Juan was jn with a few wind-blown hairs on his head. He iin a friendly guy Adult fun in valenciennes immediately comfortable posl be around. I took the wheels and handle off my cart, then together Juan and I hauled it into girsl backseat. I coewiston my backpack in then Hot slender woman in pozo almonte Savannah and sat up front with her. A woamn minutes before Juan pulled up I gave Savannah three drops of tranquilizer. All in all she was better than ni had been two days before, but four hours was a long time.

I prayed our risk was mitigated sufficiently pzo leaving early and dosing Savannah with the tranquilizer. The sun crept over womann one story buildings and we were under way. Juan had Cumbia playing, ln style of music featuring guitars and Caribbean drums. Years ago a dog bit me from the backseat right on the cheek. I look them in the eye and think, how is this person? How is this dog? He smiled, obviously pleased with his generosity. Savannah shuffled until settling in a position where she was curled up with her snout snuck between my bicep and ribcage. Other than a handful of valleys the ride was through desert.

It was far more desolate than it felt. Looking in every direction there was nothing but sand and the thin ribbon of asphalt running through it. I reached forward and turned up the air-conditioning. Not only was the sun hitting my face, but having Savannah on my lap was making me warm. We only needed to make it three more hours. Juan seemed unfazed by the news. The hours went by and as they did the heat increased. The air-conditioning was set as cold as possible but whatever heat the sun sent down was captured inside the cab. The cool air pumping out of the vents was little more than a few stones attempting to slow a river.

The temperature climbed inside the car as the sun climbed further into the sky. Heat wavered on the asphalt and as cars rode through it the heat swirled mystically like barely-visible smoke. When we were half way to Arica we had to stop where the road was under construction. I remembered walking up the road, it was an assent from a valley floor to the desert plateau. The road up was being widened to four lanes. Most of the road was torn apart, only a small section was paved and that section was closed to the cars. Every half an hour the workers let all the cars from the bottom drive up or all the cars from the top drive down. Juan pinched something on the edge of his nostril and winced.

Waiting had me worried. We want you to share your story, with both the good and the not-so-good.

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